The Judgment of Quintus


Disaster approaches the Roman Empire. The primitive Britannic tribes—which, incidentally, are much like their modern counterparts, but with better teeth—are about to launch a revolt of unimaginable proportions. Realizing they possess neither the martial nor culinary prowess to conquer Rome, the Britons have concocted a dastardly plan: to build an army of Anglo Squirrels. When released on Rome, this nefarious rodentia will consume the populace as if they were a particularly delicious acorn.

Rome herself is no stranger to Botanical Warfare, having weathered the Great Squirrel Crises of 27, 29, and 34 – 40 AD. To solve such problems in the past, the Romans prayed to Vesta, Goddess of the Hearth and Squirrel Smitery. Unfortunately, an unknown force has weakened the gods, and Mount Olympus is crumbling. With the heavens in shambles, more and more Romans are converting to Calpurnipalianism—a mysterious religion which, founded by and devoted to the Empress Calpurnia, has recently attracted a slew of celebrity adherents, including the famed gladiator Necantio.

After a fateful prophecy, Quintus, assistant publicist to Necantio, finds himself on a journey to save Rome from the brink of ruin. Can he uncover the Calpurnipalian Church's deadly secret, restore power to Olympus, and save Rome from the forces—squirrel and otherwise—that imperil it? He'd certainly better, for Rome depends on The Judgment of Quintus.

What To Expect

A madcap romp through ancient Rome, The Judgment of Quintus unites classical literature, drama, myth, and history into an adventure of epic proportions without being remotely educational or, for that matter, accurate. Along the way, you will experience:

  • An epic journey that takes you around and about the Roman Empire with day trips to Mount Olympus, the Underworld, and mysterious lands as exotic as their pronunciation.

  • Countless dangers including evil sorceresses, would-be alchemists, plush animals, celebrity judges, overprotective parents, underzealous children, expectorant actors, soggy stagehands, tour groups, vestal vegans, Major-Generals, General-Majors, and, the most feared of all beasts, the Gladiopossum.

  • Thrilling characters who defy all description, except that found here.

  • Awesomeness.  From sharp, zany writing to inspired artwork, as well as top-notch voice acting and a dynamic score recorded by live musicians, The Judgment of Quintus holds itself to the highest production values and promises nothing short of an amazing theatrical experience.

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